I did not raise him like this.
🚨 EXHIBIT A: YOU, RIGHT NOW 🚨
WITNESS STATEMENT
At approximately just now, the subject was observed causing an unreasonable amount of trouble. The following incidents were documented:
- I had to make two coffees in a row.
- Found socks on the sofa.
- Did not refill coffee machine.
- Set up 50000 alarms when you didn’t need to get up.
The subject has been offered several opportunities to stop. He has declined.
CERTIFIED
TROUBLE
TROUBLE
📈 TROUBLE LEVEL
87%
Status: Deeply in trouble.
📖 THE GUESTBOOK (4,206 entries)
woof. (translation: please stop.)
please. i am tired.
i miss you.
sir, this is a Wendy’s.
we have muted you. this is your final warning.
All apologies are reviewed by a committee of one (me) and will probably be rejected.
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